Compliments Are A Skill

Compliments are compliments. Whether they’re weird, random or downright disturbing, you can’t help but feel amused if nothing else (Hey. It’s the thought that counts, okay?) However they may be, the very fact that they break out of that seemingly eternal slavery to clichés is commendable. On those rare occasions when I’m paid a compliment, they happen to be so “next level”, I am often left wondering, “What rock was I living under when this breed came into existence?” Now. Ramblings and monologues aside. I’m just going to list down the most pointless, random yet weirdly heartwarming compliments I may have received, heard someone else receive, read somewhere or just thought of.

1. I’m not into sports, but if you played pro-football/soccer, yours would be the only team I’d watch.

2. I love the diligence and efficiency with which you blatantly ignore stupid people around you.

3. You know what’s the best thing about you? You can’t trust people who love cupcakes.

4. There is only one thing funnier than the funniest joke ever: that snorting sound you make- like Shrek just farted- halfway through your laugh.

5. Her facial features are so sharp, we could cut the pork suckling with it for Christmas.

6. You look so fine, anything you hear apart from my voice is the sound of my panties dropping and ovaries exploding.

7. If there was an apocalypse and I had to choose between you and a dog, how do you feel about dog chops for dinner?

8. If you were an element on the periodic table, I’d periodically do you on the table.

9. Speaking of which, you are the uranium of the periodic table.

10. You know, if you put your heart to it, you’d make an excellent serial killer, not that you should.

11. You have the best and most effective bitch-face, I have ever seen.

Got your own set of weird ones? LET’S EXCHANGE NOTES!



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